A dose of self esteem

I had to go into work today for my annual review.  Ugh.  I hate these things.  To make matters worse, instead of someone else reviewing me I had to review myself.  I had tried to work on this this several times while I was working, but never finished and so I went in this morning to complete my self review.  I tossed and turned in bed last night, waking up several times and was literally sick to my stomach when I woke up.

My whole life I've been taught to act humbly and put others first.  When you do a self evaluation you can't be humble or self-deprecating.   Well I guess you can, but you won't get a raise.  It was so difficult to type out why I should be rated highly and what I have done to deserve high numbers.  It seemed too close to bragging, and that goes against every grain of my being.  It took me a couple hours to complete it and I still felt uncomfortable and squirmy-in-my-seat when I was finished. 

I think that you need to sit back and evaluate your self esteem before you go into something like this.  Yes, there is a place and time for humbleness, but you also should be proud of your accomplishments and achievements.  This is something that I need to learn.  I can be proud of what I've done and I do deserve that recognition (because you sure don't get recognition for your accomplishments as a mother). That was my lesson for today. 

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