Waiting........

A few years ago for my birthday my brother and I went and got tattoos together.  I knew if one of us was going to, we both had to, because our parents couldn't disown both of us.  This past year a friend and I went for our birthdays and I added to my tattoo.  I have thought of a Bible verse many times throughout my life and it has brought me much comfort.  Psalm 30:11 "You have turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me in joy."

This verse gave me hope.  No matter what happens, there is a happy ending.  No matter how much pain and suffering we endure, there is always an end to it.  I had a tattoo of a dancing angel to remind me that in the end there will be dancing, dancing for joy.  This past year I added to the tattoo this verse, and wanted it to look like one of the coptic tattoos I had seen in a library book.  I went for a consult and they sketched out the tattoo, I thought it looked good, they permanently inked it into my skin and then I went home.  It was covered with a gauze dressing and so just before I went to bed, I uncovered it and had Munchkie's Daddy take a picture so I could see how it looked.  When I looked at the tattoo, I realized how one little line can change the entire meaning of something.

When I got home I realized that my permanently permanent tattoo said "You turned my waiting into dancing"

 Little did I know how much waiting I would be doing.  Munchkie's Daddy has a life plan that includes getting his PHd.  He did not get into the programs he applied to last year due to an unfortunate situation, so this year he has reapplied.  He has now submitted his application to eleven different schools.  And now we're waiting.  Do you know how hard it is to just wait?

There's nothing we can do.  Nothing we can plan.  Nothing we can count on.  All we can do is wait.  Wait to hear from these schools.  We don't know when we are going to hear back from these schools, could be the end of January, could be middle of March. We are just waiting to see what the next five years of our lives will entail.  I can hardly handle waiting in the drive-thru line at Starbucks and now I have to wait for the rest of my life to be determined by people I have never met. 

And so now, my tattoo makes a lot more sense to me.  While it may not have been exactly what I had in mind, it gives my life a little more meaning.  My waiting will be turned into dancing.  I don't know when, and I don't know what I will be dancing about.  But it seems that there will be a good ending to my waiting.  I will hold onto this when I get scared and panicked about what the future holds for us.  So here I am, waiting.  Waiting to see how my life will be changed.