Tonight at church a member shared with us and what he had to say really moved me. His life is truly amazing, while standing in front of a large group of people he spoke of hope. He spoke of hope, which might not mean much, except that he was told that this past Christmas was his last. Hope. While he was telling us that he would never walk down an aisle and say "I do" or he would never be a father and look into the eyes of his child. These things that I take for granted every single day. His message was of hope. He spoke of God's promise to Abraham. Abraham was 100 years old when his son Isaac was born. One. Hundred. Years. Old. Abraham had to wait until he was 100 years old to see God's promise fulfilled.
This hit me. I have so much to be thankful for and I am so impatient. I want this specific life that I have all planned out in my head. I think that I will never be able to wait the five years of Munchkie's Daddy's grad school to be "real" adults. I get impatient and frustrated with what I have, or don't have. All over five years. How can I complain about five measly years when Abraham was 100! And yet, Abraham praised God and followed his commands. This man at church had hope and praised God, even in difficult circumstances.
I know in my head that God has had a hand in every aspect of my life. I know that everything in our lives has been placed there by God and I can do nothing else but trust in him. He has provided for us time and time again, he will continue to provide for us. While I do struggle quite frequently with not living out this "perfect" life I had planned, I can see that what's happening in my life is way better. I cannot even imagine my life without all of the amazing friends that I have made over the past few years, my wonderful husband or my beautiful daughter.
We sang this song at church tonight and every single time I hear it, it brings tears to my eyes. It's easy to hear or read the words and think, oh some guy was sitting at his piano writing this while he was waited on. Except that isn't the case. The words to this song were written by Horatio Spafford as he rode on a boat to be with his wife after his four daughters drowned in a boat collision. His son had already died at the age of four and the great Chicago fire left him financially ruined. Through all of that, he wrote "It is well with my soul." This man wasn't living in the lap of luxury, he was at the lowest point of his life. He can say it is well with my soul when most would be hopeless. If he can have peace and comfort, than surely I can find peace and comfort knowing that someone else has control over my life. If the man at church, Abraham, and Horatio can have hope, even though they are going through trying situations, than I can survive five measly years of being far from home and a grad student's wife. It is well with my soul. I can say that and mean it. I may need to remind myself of this frequently, but it is well with my soul.
I apologize for the early 90's video.
Although I usually don't like Wikipedia, they do have a pretty condensed version of the story behind this song. It Is Well With My Soul