|(I'm having a slight panic attack about showing this)|
When you get married sometimes you assume that your relationship with your husband or wife is going to be a mirror image of your parents, or you may go the opposite direction and say "I will never EVER be like my parents." Either way, it doesn't always turn out the way you think. Growing up my mom stayed home with us. She cooked almost every meal and in the words of my brother as a child "we're having salad and gross stuff for dinner." That means she always served very healthy, well-balanced and food pyramid guided meals. After dinner we would clear our plates and then my dad would stand at the sink and do the dishes. If the trash needed to be taken out, he would do it. I never saw my mom asking him to do either.
So the day came that I got married.
Naturally I assumed that Munchkie's Daddy would gladly without hesitation do every dish and take out the trash whenever it got remotely full. I guess I never thought about how the division of chores were created in my house growing up. I also was so naive that I didn't realize my mother's frustration when she asked my dad to vacuum and it wasn't completed to her standards. In the early days of my marriage I remember being so frustrated that I started to vent to my mother on the phone (something which I try not to do- talk about my husband and I's relationship to my parents) and I will never forget what she said to me.
How could I, just months into my marriage, assume that my relationship with Munchkie's Daddy could be the mature relationship of my parents? While I know my mom was joking about the training part, it's true. It takes years to figure out the division of household chores. And guess what, they aren't necessarily divided because we enjoy doing something, like the dishes. I guess that you just suck it up and do things that you don't like because they have to get done.Amanda, why do you think that your dad does the things he does? It took me years to train him.
So for now I am going to go to bed with dirty dishes. Since I don't like doing them and he doesn't like doing them, they will sit out for a few more hours. Maybe someday there will be HIS chores and HERS chores, but I think those are a few more years in the making. And in those years I will be grateful for all of the things he does do, like make dinner most nights, do laundry and pick up around the house.
Hopefully by then Munchkie will be old enough to have her own chores and we can pay her with a measly allowance to do the chores we don't like "to teach her responsibility."