That's Some Stellar Parenting

I have felt like a stellar mother this week (insert dripping sarcasm here).  I am in no way a morning person and thankfully this job has eased me into the early morning thing with each morning of work being an hour earlier.  However, it kills me that I live a ten to fifteen minute drive from the hospital and yet, it takes me over an hour to get to work using the public transportation system.  The other morning I woke up at the still-night-hour of 5:45 to get ready to be at work by 8am. Munchkie's Daddy had his first presentation of the school year and was a nervous wreck.  I noticed that he wasn't in bed with me and when I went into the living room he was just lying down on the couch.  I told him to go to bed.  What good would he be at a presentation if he got next to no sleep, and the hour or so that he got was on the couch?  After sending him to bed, I rushed around trying to get ready.  As I was trying to get out of the door, a little face was smiling at me over a baby gate.  That sweet little face says to me, "Look Mama!  I wake up!"  Oh no!  Why?!?  Why did she have to wake up so early?!?!  I whispered to her, "Mama has to go to work, play in your room for a little while so Daddy can sleep."  Next thing I knew there was crying, no she didn't want to do that.  She wanted to be with Mama.  Naturally.  So I did what every good mother running out the door does.  I poured a bowl of cereal, filled a sippy cup with milk and turned PBS on, leaving the door to Munchkie's Daddy opened and raced out the door.  I was slightly late to work, but so were other new people, so I didn't feel so bad about that.  However, all morning I was a complete mess about running out the door like that.  Besides the fact that I don't really like that I am leaving my daughter most days with what feels like a stranger who's name I know, mornings like this make it extremely difficult to walk through the door and away from her. 

Today, I was scheduled to work for twelve hours, the shift that I will be working.  Somehow we got very lucky and they decided to cut our training a little short today, so I was home shortly after seven.  Normally I will be getting home around 8:30.  This means that I will be gone from before 6:00am until around 8:30am.  If I work two days in a row, I will not see Munchkie for those two days.  At all.  Oh, this is a very difficult realization.  While life in a city has so many advantages at times, being able to walk down to a market, having a huge aquarium or park nearby and having access to a very reliable public transportation system, it also means that it takes a while to get anywhere.  I just don't know how I will be able to handle this.  I love my family and my family comes first in everything.  Not being able to see Munchkie, hear about her day, talk to her or even get a hug is going to be extremely difficult.  I guess that it will be a learning experience for all of us. 

We will have to learn how to make the time we do have together incredible.  This makes it very difficult to want to do necessary things around the house.  I feel like even reading the mail is taking time away from spending time with Munchkie.  Right now I am writing this quickly, since she just went to bed and I need to do the same.  I cannot bring myself to set my alarm clock for any earlier than 5am, so I have one alarm set for 5am and another "no really, wake up now" alarm set for 5:15am.  Hopefully by the time I come home tomorrow, I will still be functioning enough to make Saturday a wonderful together time day.  Each day home has to count, has to make up for those days that the time spent together is only moments, if any. 

These few and far between times together, along with racing out the door leaving a crying child behind and not being able to provide more than a bowl of cold, dry cereal, does not make me feel like a good mother at all.  I don't know how other mothers do it.  I just don't.

Time Off

I'm starting to get a little depressed.  I was so excited to have a month off of work during our move and now that month is rapidly coming to a close.  I had such high hopes to explore the area and spend time with Munchkie but I have been dwelling on the fact that I have to go back to work soon.  I think that since Munchkie has started her childcare, I am spending my days alone and it makes me sad.  I am here with time off so that I can spend it with her.  But instead, I am home, and she is under the care of someone else. 

I know that she is having a lot of fun and talks about all of the kids that she plays with.  I know that she needs the interaction with other kids and the time away from family to learn in other ways.  However, I also know that I like to spend time with Munchkie.   I think she's getting tired of my "lovin" but she still gives me hugs and kisses when I ask.  We also have been snuggling on the couch when she gets home. 

I'm hoping that by writing out my fears here, I can get past them and get my behind into gear.  I have just over a week left of my time off and I need to make the most of it instead of dwelling on the time that I don't have off.  I need to stick to my room a day organization and do things like make it to the DMV to get a new license.  Hopefully tomorrow's post will have pictures of my completed bedroom.

First of the Goodbyes

Yesterday we went to our favorite store, Whole Foods, to get some fruit for a daycare goodbye party.  Today was the "party" and with all of the regulations at the daycare fresh fruit seems to be the best option.  While there and walking by the body section it completely hit me that I forgot about teacher's gifts.  How could I forget such a thing growing up in a family of teachers? 

The body scrub that caught our eye reminded me of a body scrub I had made a while back and so I decided that I could do better than the asking $14.99 a pound.  Salt is under $2 a pound so with a couple essential oils I decided to make my own.  I tried to recreate the scent we all liked the best, but it didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped.  While I was doing that I also started working on some candles.

These aren't just any candles.  These were candles that I was going to make for Mother's Day.  We bought all of the ingredients in April and a box of ingredients has been sitting on the floor of our kitchen since about then.  I had literally everything ready to go and just never got around to doing it.  I told Munchkie's Daddy that it was because I was supposed to wait until now for teacher's gifts.  So with some sand from the beach just down the street, wax, ocean mist scent and Goodwill glasses, I made some candles.

I have to say that I was so proud of the finished product.  I hope they enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed making it.

I took them in this morning and just walking into the room I started crying.  The daycare has done so much for us in the last 8 months.  They taught Munchkie how to play with other kids and share. How to "use her words," and to "focus."  She learned to wait her turn and be patient.  She learned colors, and potty trained.  She made friends and looked forward to every day there.  They helped me be able to sleep and work without worry.  I also was able to spend a few days completely by myself, which is something a working mother is never able to do.  While most people look down on daycare, I am eternally grateful for all this daycare has been to us.  The first of our goodbyes was an emotional one.

Body Scrub
2 cups salt
1/4 cup safflower oil
several drops essential oil(s) of your choice
-Mix together until thoroughly mixed, but still powdery.  Rub over body and wash off. 

I Not Food!

Today I received a call from Munchkie's daycare teacher saying to give her a call, or we'd chat when I picked her up.  When I received the voicemail I was already walking out the door to go get her, so I figured I would just wait until I got to the school.  The whole way there, I was panicking, did I do something wrong?  Did I send the wrong thing in her lunch?  It didn't sound urgent, so I figured she was safe and ok.

When I got to the daycare the aide was there with the remaining kids and looked down at the floor as she said "She got bit today"
I said "Oh, ok, that's no big deal."
She said "No, she got bit by a kid, not a bug."
I replied "Oh I figured, don't worry about it, she's been bit by dogs several times, we just tell her to rub it and move on"

The aide said that the funniest part was that Munchkie said "I not food!" after she was bit, as if to indicate that you are only supposed to bite food.

Because the daycare doesn't want parents to get upset with other kids or blame other parents, they never tell who the offending child is.  Even if a virus is going around the classroom, they don't say who the first snot faced kid was.  So naturally, when Munchkie and I show Munchkie's Daddy her bite, he says "you got bit?  Who bit you?" and being the good daughter she is, she totally sold out the kid. 

Even though she was completely fine and when I asked if I could see her owie, she went to reach for her foot (not sure what owie was there!) so it obviously didn't bother her.  I felt bad for her.  So after dinner we went for ice cream.  She had no idea why we were going out for ice cream, but she was loving figuring out an ice cream cone for the first time.  She was loving it so much that she had to strip down to her diaper for the ride home.

This is a day that I knew was eventually going to come, but still dreaded.  While I completely understand that these things happen, I want to make sure that my daughter was not the one provoking the situation.  I know kids will be kids, but I hope that she will learn to share and be kind to others.